OK, if anybody wants to take any of this crap to heart or feel all personally affronted then BE MY GUEST AND SUCK MY WINGED PENIS, BABY, 'cause I get tired of being nice and it's goddamned DISHONEST after a point and I don't need any more lying crap than I'm already forced to take part in by life.
1. I am sick of people who take college courses that give them zero marketable skills for four years or even longer and then whine about their lack of a job/money when they get out. Hello? You were smart enough to go to college, then you were smart enough to figure the odds of your being gainfully employed, and if you somehow fucked that choice up, you're still smart enough to figure out a solution. That is, IF you don't want to spend your life evading the landlord in a roach-filled dump eating cat food out of a can and whining about how much it sucks to be broke and wondering why I don't feel sorry for you.
2. And those of you who Do have good jobs, would you please do a little research and look REALISTICALLY at your chances of keeping it in the next round of layoffs/market downturn/ dot com bubble burst/ whatever so you don't end up running around screaming AAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!! should your ass get canned?
3. And would you please quit acting so put upon that you have to fuckin' WORK for a living, like most people do, rather than a) pursue your true vocation as an "artist" (don't even get me going on the misuse of this definition in society today), b) bum around the country or the world indefinitely (newsflash: if you really want to do this it IS possible to support yourself on the fly), c) sit home cooking fabulous meals and waiting for your lover to arrive (that's some fucked-up Donna Reed shite, mang!!).
4. And on an unrelated note, let's talk about your evening with your SO where you described in detail what you cooked for dinner and who cooked what and what movie you went to see and where you stopped for coffee afterwards and how many sugars you each put in and how cute they looked stirring the cup and so on like you're a witness documenting your movements for Perry fucking Mason. no, on the other hand, Let's NOT talk about it because you know what? Except to you and him/her and maybe three of your closest giggly-poo friends, IT'S FUCKING BORING! IT BORES ME! I DON'T CARE! I really don't care that s/he had sprinkles on his/her ice cream cone! I really don't CARE that s/he has the world's most adorable mole on the back of his/her left butt cheek! I'm not jealous, I JUST DON'T FUCKING CARE!!!
5. And if you did do something mildly interesting last night like cook a meal, pick up a cute person at the bar, or develop a world peace plan, I'd appreciate it if you could tell me about it without stopping to congratulate yourself every three lines on how fucking awesome you are at cooking/pickups/world peace, mmmkay? And if you can't manage that, could you at least refrain from tossing in unsolicited remarks about how much other people suck compared to the Great God You? Especially if you're one of those people I already bitched about above in (1)?
6. People who repeatedly fish for approval in public ponds are fuckin' pathetic. So grow up and realize you don't need 47 people to tell you you rock.
OK I think that about covers it for today. Maybe I'll be back some other week.
Have a Nice Day! I mean that sincerely.